Category: Mindset

Mindset Origins

I have been writing Mindsets for 25 years. I thought I might take some time to explain exactly what they are and how they originated. For most, if not all of us, we have defining moments or experiences which mold us into who we become. For me, that was a clinical depression in early adulthood. I began writing to help me express and understand that depression. Initially, most of it was dark poetry, but the more I wrote the less about expression and the more about understanding and finding hope it became. Within a few years, the dark poetry became more, eventually morphing into what would become Mindsets. I had chosen to focus on what could be as opposed to what was. I chose to understand instead of escape into a vice or become completely lost in misery. I needed to believe that everything has meaning and that life is not a cosmic roll of the dice without rhyme and reason. Writing Mindsets has helped me to answer many of my questions and hopefully answer a few for others as well. In addition, it has allowed me to write about subjects for which I am passionate. I will be publishing a series of my early Mindsets that I hope you will enjoy. Most of what I usually publish are new ones that I have written recently and so you will see subtle differences in styles and context as my style has evolved over the years, Below is the first Mindset in this series.

It Only Takes A Spark In The Darkness To See

So often it seems the root of humanity stems from what we want instead of what others need. The desire of tending to our own comforts can build walls separating us from those who need us the most. It is not always a conscious act of neglect but more of an unwilling blindness that keeps us from the most important issues and people in our lives.

It is a simple gesture to give, one that requires only the choices to see and then to act. This simplicity has an awesome effect on both the giver and the receiver because it brings positivity, which sparks an internal change that never ceases to evolve.

After truly experiencing the power of giving, we no longer see ourselves as individuals with personal desires but rather part of a large family whose needs lead us to the understanding that we are only as comfortable and secure as those to whom we give.

What The Hell…

C.L. Harmon

For me, writing a blog with Mindsets and other bits of knowledge and wisdom gained throughout my life is about several things. One of these is helping others find answers or peace. Others include discovery, pursuing understanding about the human condition and helping people to connect with other people among other objectives. My favorite part about writing anything though is that I can do it while hiding away from the world. It’s safe and it’s private. I have become introverted over the years and spend much of my time in thought and alone. Because of this, much of what I write has hidden meanings and twisted definitions with the purpose of making those who read them to think deeper than they are accustomed to as I do.

I like knowing that I can affect you or impact your life without probably ever meeting you. The only problem with this is that I cannot be affected by you, learn from you. This, what I am doing now, is how I cope without outside help. I write. I share. Having written that, I am just going to talk this time without a point or lesson. I had a very, very bad week. The particulars or causes won’t change anything and so there is no need to write them here. But how certain words and actions made me feel this week, those I will share.

These negatives felt as though I had been hit so hard that my breath couldn’t return to my lungs. Adrenaline, anger, shock and confusion overwhelmed me to the point where my perceived clarity was no longer focused. This is the first time in my life that this has ever happened. Dealing with numerous career disappointments, clinical depression, hardships of many sorts and feeling alone even in a crowd for most of my life has hardened me to the point that feeling is more of a practiced response than an actual expression of true emotion. That certainly changed this week. Damn sure sent me reeling!

So now I am in territory that I have not been in since I was 19. It’s strange and I am still reeling from this burst of real emotion. I don’t know what the hell I am supposed to with this. I am breathing again, but cautiously and very slowly. Is this the way that most people live? If so, it seems like an intense way of living. Of course, I assume most people probably express a little at a time and so maybe the intensity is not that overwhelming as in my case. Still, how does anyone stay sane? Hell, maybe their emotions are what keeps them sane and I am the insane one. As I said, things don’t make a lot of sense to me right now. So I guess it’s possible.

At any rate, there has been something that has come out of this that seems almost out of context in this whole scenario.

I now feel as though I have been looking at life through a dirty window pane for so long that what I have been seeing is not actually what has been going on outside, but illusions made from the images out of the dust on the window. Now that the glass has been shattered, nothing looks familiar. It’s frightening and hopefully enlightening at some point. It’s so bizarre. I have never been stopped dead in my tracks like I was this week. I don’t know how to feel. I have nothing to teach and nothing to give in this writing except personal honesty. But I am writing anyway. Who knows, maybe there is a message even in this rambling. Then again…maybe not. For those of you who read me faithfully and take my writings as messages as to how to cope with life and find peace, please accept my apologies this time. I am only human…as I rediscovered this week.

4 Comments

Dreams Don’t Grow In The Dark

Dreams Don’t Grow In The Dark

By C.L. Harmon

When we lose our direction, we lose more than just our way. We lose ourselves. We are tied to our dreams, and it is the part of which defines us internally. I believe the dream is who we are and not that we are someone with a dream. Our dreams are powerful when we are young. They still seem within reach, and the idea of those dreams becoming elusive has not yet become a reality.

Life, however, is a thief. As days go by, they blend into a period of time and then into a past time. Our dreams begin wandering aimlessly into our subconscious as they no longer have a place in our conscious thoughts. They are as a memory that never happened. They slip into the darkness of our psyches because we feel as though they ask too much from us.

They are in constant need of attention, never fulfilled. It becomes burdensome as it requires more and more to grow. And so we let go, but are left with this sense of abandonment that we cannot explain, yet know it’s real. We feel it always with us; something lost to us but not forgotten. Our dreams are roadmaps in life. They are the directions, not to the most wonderful experiences, but directions out of the chaos of the worst experiences.

Most of us do not think of our dreams in such a way. But do we not think of dreams as paths to betterment? Is not reaching for something out of reach just another way of removing us from the negativity that is ever close to us? We lose ourselves in the chaos because we have stopped moving away from it as it grows. Does it not seem logical that our Creator would give us a tool to escape that which destroys and consumes us? Without our dreams and the pursuit of them, we no longer define who we are but instead become the definition of those who left theirs in the dark recesses of their subconscious.

1 Comment

Loss Is A Gain We Cannot Afford To Lose

Loss Is A Gain We Cannot Afford To Lose

We are these amazing creatures with passions, secrets, knowledge, and wisdom caught up in this essence of life, the only reality familiar to us. We learn to love and then must learn to accept that we lose it. We trust that goodness always prevails and yet ultimately discover that evil often wins the day. We must learn to control anger and violence when we feel passionate that it is warranted. We must learn to forgive when it is not deserved. We are compelled to build and create fully aware that destruction is inevitable. And we must learn and do all of these in order to grow.

We can survive without learning any of these expectations which are laid at our feet. We can prosper through evil deeds and achieve monetary trophies and titles, but we will never grow into anyone who truly appreciates the life which is given to us if we do not choose to accept what is difficult. Growth has always been the gift. It is the metamorphosis which defines the real meaning of free will and the reason for which it was given.

We never become any more than the years of our age without the choice to accept the growth which only comes through our willingness to accept the suffering which makes it possible. Your choice to accept and to learn is your reward. Everything worthwhile and lasting is only gained through loss and suffering. Without this knowledge, we will never comprehend the value of anything. What makes us so amazing is not only our ability to gain through loss but our choice to willingly accept a loss with only the belief that we gain.

1 Comment

What Lies Within

What Lies Within

A sculptor looks at a piece of granite or stone with either a belief that there is a work of art within that stone that he will uncover. Or he looks at it with the belief that he will create a work of art from where there was none before.Although the creation may be the same in appearance as each artisan finishes toiling with the stone, the sculptures are very different to the sculptors. The artisan who uncovers what is hidden learns that he can see beyond what is on the surface.

He can chisel each sliver of stone to discover that beauty and creation are all around us if we choose to remove those layers which obscure them. He begins to understand that all things have depth and if we do not seek to uncover what lies beneath then we lose what has been hidden for us to find.

The artisan who creates from within to bring about something new understands that the origins of creations are mysteries locked up inside of us. He learns that the surface of the stone is an opportunity to carve, chip and then breathe life into a new creation.

But it is the artisans themselves who learn above all that they are simply a stone for another Creator. One who has hidden beauty and mystery within them awaiting discovery. Through our visions, toils, and patience, we all create and unearth the mysteries in our daily lives only to realize we were always the greatest works of art in the universe.

Mindset: Patterns Are Us

C.L. Harmon

There have always been patterns in life that most never give a second thought. For those who do, they only see enough to know there are such patters and not the reasoning behind them. We even classify these patterns in terms such as love languages, personality types, body types, attitude dispositions, among many others.

But why are we given patterns when each of us is created to be unique? Perhaps it so we never feel alone. In a creation where each is unique, it stands to reason that we would often feel alone with no guides, teachers or examples to follow because of our individuality. But with our natural inclination to recognize and be drawn to what feels familiar, we are given the opportunity to learn from those before us who are in the same patterns we are.

Within this incredible existence we inhabit, we are all guides to others. When we experience loss, tragedy, heartbreak or any other suffering, we are given a light in the darkness that is built into our psyches. If we are weak in our faith and stumbling through misery and confusion, our Creator still gives us a map to bring us direction through our desires to identify with others who are familiar to us through these patterns.

As unique as we are and as lost as we can become, we are never left alone. We are all each other’s keepers and teachers. Our experiences are the messages of comfort we offer others who are wayward. What an incredible design that we are a part of. If patterns prove nothing else, they prove we are connected and instrumental in the cohesion that which connects an entirely unique creation into the purpose that we are actually one with eachother.

1 Comment

Happiness Is A Journey

Happiness Is A Journey

C.L. Harmon

Happiness is not a choice but a journey. We tend to believe that choices dictate the outcomes of our lives. This is only true to a point. Certainly, there is the cause and effect. But this is only a teacher to help us along as we travel on this journey.

We must learn to love. Then we must learn how to lose that love. Everyone experiences this at least once in their lives. We must learn how to accept that loss and to accept that we must live without it. We must come to the understanding that moving forward opens up new opportunities for us. We cannot simply state that we are happy despite the loss, pain, and misery. We must travel through it and gain insight from the experience.

With each loss, failure, and setback, we are expected to soldier on by our Creator. But more than this, we are required to grow out of the ashes into someone who can open up again knowing the pain of a broken heart or a shattered dream. We must learn to count our blessings knowing even this does not bring instant happiness in the wake of a tragedy.

The key to happiness is gaining the wisdom to understand that learning how to be happy is a journey. We must learn to forgive those who wrong us because what we hold onto, holds onto us. If we do not learn to forgive, then we must suffer the pain of that trespass each day. This is not a wisdom that can be gained without experience. It is, however, knowledge, that can be shared to enlighten us when we finally choose to release the negative we are grasping.

Happiness is not a product we purchase. It is not a word or a gesture or even a belief that can erase that which causes us sadness and depression. It is a journey where we learn patience, acceptance, forgiveness, empathy, and kindness. Life’s experiences culminate in this wisdom which teaches us that without our choice to learn these lessons, we are choosing not to be happy.

1 Comment

Mindset: The “Tryangle” Of Life

Mindset: The “Tryangle” Of Life

It is such a simple question. What is our purpose here? The age-old inquiry as to why we are here. Why were we created? We are all different and yet the same, together but apart and yet inexplicably connected in ways we can’t understand. We share so much with each other and though we may never meet others, we still understand that we are a part of them in the cosmic sense.

Theologians, philosopher, and poets have pondered the meaning of life as do each of us during trying times in our lives with struggles and loss. Some believe that perhaps the answer is what we take from our experiences, lessons that become knowledge and wisdom. Perhaps there is merit in this concept. Or maybe those are simply a result of actions we experience in life.

What if the answer was far more simple than that? What if the experiences were not lessons but opportunities? There are concepts in this realm of existence that are available to every one of us. They do not discriminate, cost currency or die. Each of us has the opportunity to feel and give love, hope, and faith. The three concepts that no one can take from us.

We can choose to love even if we feel others may not love us. It is ours accept and to give without restriction and is infinite. Hope is ours as long as we hold onto it. Others may attempt to take it, but they are powerless to do so if we refuse to relinquish it. Faith is the elixir of life. It is not forced upon us nor can we force it upon others. We can choose to believe that there is a Creator who loves and guides us to a meaningful existence. We are free to trust in that greater power just as we are free to believe in those in whom we share the world. Our faith in others is also a choice for us to make. And when we choose to believe in others. We give them hope, we show them love and we give them the ability to believe in others.

Perhaps the meaning of life is to never understand how and why good and bad happen, but opportunities to understand who we can become by finding the meaning and power in love, hope, and faith.

1 Comment

Mindset: Free Will Is A Choice

Mindset: Free Will Is A Choice

The concept of free will is simple in its definition, but baffling to many of us since the choices we make do not always lead us to the outcomes for which we hoped and believed. How is it that some make choices to pursue specific goals and make similar choices as others to attain those goals, but do not the achieve the goals while others do.

I believe this is because of the choices we make with the actual freewill we are given. One of the greatest gifts we can give our Creator, who gave us free will, is to trust him so much that we give it back to Him. This action tells Him that we believe so much that His choices for us will be greater than any we could have chosen for ourselves.

However, as a result of this, we are led on a journey that is often blind and appears to make no sense. Others who choose to keep their free will and guide themselves often do reach their goals, but will not attain the greater gifts and understanding in this life He had set aside for them.

It is our choice to trust in our Creator or to only trust in ourselves. This is true free will. However, we cannot serve ourselves and the Creator too. Perhaps the greatest gift He gave us was the opportunity to give our destinies back to him, instead of leaving us to battle the world without His guidance.

Mindset: Whispers In The Wind

So many actions we do, words we utter and situations in which we are part of are seemingly of no significance at the time which they occur. Often they are as a fleeting thought, gone almost as quickly as they came. But to someone, they have an impact. It may be one that we never even learn of, but someone was affected by that action, word or the situation that occurred.

It is as though a cosmic pulse is formed which travels far into the subconscious of creation itself and the consciousness of those within this creation. It knows not the bounds of time and space. It lives in memories, in bones, in soil and in decisions made by all of us from the onset of that action.

Would our choices matter more if we understand that each one is like an echo heard far beyond reaches we can’t even fathom? That they live in our hearts as hate or love, in our minds as prejudice and equality, in history as brutality or kindness in philosophy as dark or light and in eternity as peace or torment? One seemingly insignificant action can be one thread for someone to hold on to in desperation or one thread unraveled from a blanket of security.

Nothing in life is insignificant. Everything is whispers in the wind. No word, no action, no situation is without cause and effect. Understanding this is how the world changes, one word, one action, one situation at a time

1 Comment