I have referred several times within this blog series about this entirety of the blog is a journey. The interesting thing about a journey is that you end up in a different place than where you began. As such, I thought why not apply the same principle in each blog I write. This way, I take you the reader and myself to a new place during the course of the journey. I feel like this experiment of sorts to be a learning experience where discovery becomes a teacher to both of us.
I mentioned a couple of blogs back about answers from God often being elusive to me. I thought in this segment that I would write about those elusive answers because this is certainly a subject in which we can all relate. I also hope that along this journey that I might come to understand those elusive answers.
I recently got news of a very good thing that happened to someone whom I consider to be very bad. I would bet money on the prospect that those who voted him for this honor do not know even a fraction of the negative things he did to me and to the dream I was building. Nor did he care for any of those who were ultimately affected by the destruction of that dream. There were many who were, I can assure you.
The news was like a knife in my back. Actually, though I hadn’t given it much thought other than the initial annoyance upon hearing the news. However, while searching for a topic for this blog, I thought why not talk about those who are out to kill other’s hopes. Writers, I think, face the dilemma of attempting to keep their dreams alive at least some if not all their careers. I mean, after all, even the devil gets his due. At the time this man was wielding deceit and poison to harm my interests, I was in a position to use the words I love so much to sink to his level of treachery and duplicity. I had the reading audience and the trust of that audience to make anything I wrote about him stick like honey to bread.
I chose not to do it. I know that words are one of the most powerful tools that humankind is given. Words can destroy a man’s life or save one’s just as easily. I simply walked away in a graceful manner from everything I had built when I realized that in order to save it or win I guess it could be called, I had to become worse than the man I detested for using such tactics. I had to be as weak and shallow as him in order to defeat him. To me, there is no victory in that regardless of the positive outcome for me.
So why did this man get his desired outcome? Why did God allow him to win? I don’t know. I have formulated a theory as to those questions though. People who continue to delve deeper into dark actions to achieve what they desire, do so because they always feel that they can rise above those actions whenever they choose. What they don’t realize is that they are not ever going to be given that opportunity as long as they feel as though they have the right to control the dreams of others. They continue diving deeper in their efforts to destroy unaware that they already have the hook in their mouths. They believe that those deceitful measures worked once, they will continue to work. However, once the devil decides he has let them play with the bait long enough, he sets the hook. At that point, there is no longer that freedom to rise to the surface.
This is where that man is now…being reeled in and too ignorant to know it.
I may not get all the answers I want. But I have gotten one answer…one more important to know than why a man got an honor that he didn’t deserve which doesn’t affect me in the least. I learned that when the chips are down and I am attacked by those willing to sacrifice their morals for self-satisfaction; I will always choose to rise to the top; above those who are not smart enough to know that the deeper they go the further they get hooked into losing their own control to the devil.